ESTUPIDEZ HUMANA
>In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods:
> a.. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
> b.. On a bag of
Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (the
shoplifter special?)
> c.. On a bar of
Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
that would be how??...)
> d.. On some
Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
> e.. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
> f.. On Marks
& Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
> g.. On packaging
for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
> h.. On Boot's
Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
> i..
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause
drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this
because???....)
> j.. On most
brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
> k.. On a Japanese
food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
> l.. On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
> m.. On an
American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
> n.. On a child's
superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
> o.. On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals." (..was there a lot of this
happening somewhere?)
>
>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's
your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a
smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all
need to smile every once in a while.
>
>
>These ones are more popular, but if you don´t know them you may still laugh at them:
>
>1. Only in
>
>2. Only in
>
>3. Only in
>
>4. Only in
>
>5. Only in
>
>6. Only in
>
>7. Only in
>
>8. Only in
>
>9. Only in
>
>10. Only in
>
>
>EVER WONDER ~~~~
>
>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
>
>Why women can't put on mascara with their
mouth closed?
>
>Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>
>Why is "abbreviated" such a long
word?
>
>Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?
>
> Why is it that to stop Windows, you have
to click on "Start"?
>
>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
>
>Why is the man who invests all
your money
called a broker?
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
>
>Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?
>
>When dog food is new and improved tasting,
who tests it?
>
>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
injections?
>
>You know that indestructible black box that
is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
>
>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>Why are they called apartments when they
are all stuck together?
>
>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress
the opposite of progress?
>
>If
flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?